Why do you even talk and be around any of those people if they don't even talk to you? If I had to constantly have to say only things that someone wanted to hear, I'd be out of there. They can get another person who will do sumfin like that. Go ahead lose Vincent. Does he show love to you? If no, get rid of him. Stop the cutting already, please.

Jovonnah Rabbit 

Just don't do it, please. Smarten up. Don't be so negative. Stare at a book of colors or sumfin.

Jovonnah Rabbit

What are you getting out of cutting yourself? Nothing. Nothing will happen or change when you put that razor to your skin. So get your head straight and stop being weak minded. Take care of yourself. You don't need this. Get that emo out.

Jovonnah Rabbit

shame is a very powerful thing, you need to realize that you are not to blame. it is a hard long road to recovering from this kind of abuse, but the freedom that comes from bringing your shame to light is worth it. forgiveness is key. when you forgive it is not saying that what they did was ok, it releases you not them im praying for you.

yes yes yes thats me in the pic. thanks for the comment:) made me feel good. and girl im so so so friggin sorry that these things happened to you. its sickening to think about. it happened to me twice. both family members of mine. sick. but i was younger. i still remember like it was yesterday though. those images never leave your mind for good. i still hate family gatherings. but for it to happen three times? thats awful. im sad for you.

-me

OMFG - your sis should so take you to get one...that's just wrong!! If my younger sis was or even thought she were preggers I'd take her straight away... I think maybe she's in denial hun - bad bad place to be - (i think i'm there riiiight now LOL)

Maybe Vincent is secretly hoping you are? how long have you been with each other? He could be hoping to maybe start a lil family thing goin on u know - not many guys are like that...they find out n f*** you off - just like that...

What a weird world we live in huh??

Good Luck with everything babe, I hope everything works out great for you in the end

SERIOUSLY I'VE BEEN THERE AND KILLING YOURSELF ISNT THE ANSWER, CALM DOWN AND BREATHE. YOULL MAKE IT I PROMISE, IF U NEED TO TALK IM HERE

MY YAHOO IS FIERACALLADA718

Amber, I am so glad you wrote this....  I never thought before about what I'm doing, and how it affects you, and how I've been dealing with my cutting.  But when you say, "if she wants to cut she does", I sound like...  horrible.  Because, you're right.  I mean, I guess this whole time I've been trying and trying, but maybe KNOWING that I wasn't really ready to stop.  I can't believe how stupid I've been!!  Here you are, trying so hard to stop cutting, and then I go and cut, and then I actually DESCRIBE how it felt on MDD??  HOW COULD I HAVE DONE THAT?!?!  I was in a state of mind at that time that I never want to be in again.  I didn't care how I affected others, but from now on, I PROMISE you Amber, I will try just as hard as you are to never harm my body again.  My eating disorder will be something else, but as for cutting, I am so ashamed that the breaks between my slips have become shorter and shorter, and the slips more and more common.  But the way you wrote your entry....  well, I can't thank you enough.  I have not been doing well lately, and I'm gonna delete that last entry, because I am so embarrased that I acted on those lies from the devil.  I'm trying to get back on track, but I'm in a very dark place right now, and thats why I haven't updated in a while, but I am so so so SO very sorry about how hypocritical I've been.  And Amber, DON'T FEEL JEALOUS!!!  I'm SO jealous of you, that you have been willing to TRY more than I ever have!!!  You have so much more going for you right now than I do, so I envy you more than you know.  But, like I said, I SWEAR I will try really really hard, to NOT cut ever again, because I KNOW I can do it with God's help, I KNOW I can, just as I KNOW that you can too!!  Thank you for this entry, and what you said about me.  You have slapped me back into reality.  I needed this!!

LOVE YOU!!!

-Rebecca

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I WAS THE SAME WAY. ID DAY DREAM ABOUT BLOOD, I WOULDT DO IT SO I WOULD NOT HURT MY FAMILY, AND FEAR THAT CERTAIN  PEOPLE WOULD NOTICE. CUTTING WAS BEAUTIFUL TO ME. BUT NOW THAT I STOPPED, I HAVE NOTHING BUT GUILT AND SCARS. AT THE MOMENT IT SEEMS WORTH IT, BUT REALLY IT LEAVES NOTHING BUT UGLY SCARS ON THE OUTSIDE AND INSIDE. ITS JUST NOT WORTH THE EMBARRESSMENT AND PAIN. id write a poem or song or something instead dear. sounds stupid, i know, but take it from an ex experienced cutter

<3 KT

lol we're on at the same time! lol!

HEY!!  lol!   Thanks for everything you said...  it made me smile !!  lol!!  I'm sorry that I wrote what I did, the triggering stuff, but it was one of those days ya know??  Don't ever worry about me killing myself, because I don't think I could ever do it, and as much as I feel like there is no hope, I KNOW that there is.  And I've already experienced the pain that suicide brings.  Or, I've seen it at least, and its horrible.  Anyways, I'm glad you're doing good.  Oh and you're right.  I am a pro at smiling my lovely nothing-is-wrong-and-I'm-the-happiest-girl-in-the-world smile.  lol!!  The only thing is, is that my couselor sees right through that smile lol!!  Guess thats a good thing though??  lol!!

Yeah so I DID tell Bryan last night that I liked him (omg just thinking about it I feel like giggling!!  lol!!) and he did say he likes me too!!  AHHH!!!!  I'm so HAPPY!!  Like a REAL happy!!  eek!!  loL!!  Ya so I could write and write and write about him, but I gotta do my sociology essay, STILL, because it was due like last week.  My writer's block is over, thank the Lord!!  hehe!!  Ya so I'll ttyl!!  And thanks for commenting!!  I LOVE when people comment, it makes me feel...  acknowledged.  loL!

-Rebecca

Amber Amber bo bamber banana fana fo famber, me my mo mamber.... AAAAMBER!!!!!  lol!!

Well, first off, lemme just say that I'm glad there is no baby.  Not yet anyways, you need to get healthy first, emotionally, mentally and physically, and don't you want to get married first and enjoy time alone with your hubbie before you introduce a child into your life??  It would mean no more weekend movies with your boyfriend, or shopping with your friends....  Just wait until you are old and have had more experience in life!!  My mom was telling me that at my age, if she would have had to make a choice between her boyfriend and her family (maybe because they didn't approve or something, I dunno), she would have chosen her boyfriend in a second!!  Because she says she was young and stupid and wouldn't have known any better at the time, and would have thought that she was 100% making the right choice!!  LOL!!  I thought it was pretty funny lol!!  Anyways, so ya, babies are adorable, and I know you'd make an awesome mom, but people our age, you and me, and my pregnant friend Shayna and my friend Kayla who is a new mother, and Brittany who got pregnant at 14 years old, well, we don't really know what the consequences of our actions are half the time.  Oh the joys of being a teenager.... LOL!!  Anyways, I didn't really want to lecture you loL!!  But I gotta run, so have a super-fantabulastic-powdered-mini-donuts-sparkles-in-your-hair day!!  lol!! 

-Rebecca

Just keep it because you might want to come back to it later, after you have taken a break from it for a while. 

don't delete it. i've had mine for a year and half. to begin with it was just for fun, but when i started cutting i needed it more than anything. it also shows me how much i've changed. if you delete it you'll reget it one day.

peace until our souls meet again

x-immi-x

[shmxitnx]